How do I?
ü Accept others
ü Accept situations
ü Accept responsibility
Oxford Dictionary - Accept – v. to take (a thing offered) willingly
Collins Thesaurus – Accept – receive, admit, adopt, agree, believe, submit to, suffer, acknowledge
Accepting others ideas
As we grow in life and learn what methods work best for us, we also discover what works for our colleagues and friends through sharing information and attempting new methods. Trying on anything new can sometimes feel unfamiliar and appear somewhat of a challenge to begin with. We get so used to doing things our way that we can close ourselves off from opportunities that are offered, and miss out on the possibility of new and improved intelligence that could result in a winning formula for all.
Can you think of a situation where you have not accepted someone else’s idea?
Ask yourself the following:
o Do people frustrate me when they don’t do things my way?
o Do I sometimes find it difficult to appreciate others suggestions?
o Has my lack of acceptance in this area limited my opportunities?
Stop for a moment and write down a few things you don’t accept about someone you know.
It could be something like eg “They don’t think outside the square enough” or “They are always late for work” or “They think they know everything” etc. Just write down whatever comes into your mind first. Relax, no one is looking over your shoulder.
Now, after taking a few moments to ponder your answers, ask yourself,
o Am I basically protecting my own ‘ego’ by not accepting new ideas?
o Could there be another way to achieve better results? Maybe I should listen.
o Could I turn this around to add value to this area and also myself?
o Am I willing to adapt and feel positive about it?
o How could I not be happier if I were to be a little more accepting?
What we know is unique to each of us and that’s what makes us so important to each other. If only we would realize this sooner rather than later. We are all special individuals with something valuable to share. What we do with what we have is vital to the continuation of our own humanity. That is, if we cease to communicate, share and test new ideas, there will be no progress, hence no foreseeable future. What then?
Take time today to share your ideas and accept those of another. You never know when you might need them.
Accepting situations
Right now pretend you are directing and starring in your own personal movie and you, being the star, can create whatever story you like. You can be in a cowboy western with John Wayne, a glamorous Marilyn Monroe style movie or maybe even a reality TV show all about you.
Imagine, if you had your own reality TV show, what changes could you make to your current situation?
Take 1, Scene 1, shows you sitting on a park bench contemplating, in “the thinker”position:
o Are there situations from my past that are still holding me back?
o Are there situations in my life right now that aren’t working for me?
o If yes, what are my reasons for agreeing to keep them?
You shout ‘cut!’ to the crew and call for a breather. You need some time to think about your reality. About what is real and what is perceived.
You may be attached to situations beyond your control such as: “My mother and my partner just don’t get along” or one that may be within reach yet appear difficult eg.“I will always be the supporting actor, never the star” or one that you just keep hanging onto such as “People like me find change too difficult so there’s no use trying” etc. Take a moment to write down a couple of situations that are ‘un’acceptable in your life right now. Again, don’t think too much – you know what they are.
A quick check-in with your director (you) is usual practice for any last minute questions such as:
ü Is my lack of performance affecting just me or the entire cast?
ü What would you suggest someone else do in my position?
ü What if you tried a wide angle lens? (joke!)
ü What if I changed my lines to improve my role?
What will happen if you don’t?
I heard Dr Phil say once, ‘If nothing changes, nothing changes”, that says it all.
Another good ol’ Dr Phil saying is “You can’t change what you don’t acknowledge”. Maybe it’s time for you to acknowledge what you can change. Did you know that change is just the difference between now and then? Transition is that space in the middle that requires a little rehearsal and commitment to get the hang of it. Then you’re done.
Like showbiz. If you want to change from TV to performing in the theatre you will need to learn and practice different techniques such as projecting your voice, creating larger, more theatrical body movements, and performing to a live audience. Then if you want to change from theatre to acting in movies, you may need to be prepared to travel more, learn to speak another language, be prepared to hang around on the set for extended periods waiting for your scene etc. Everything we do that we don’t know already we have to learn. It’s that simple.
So,you’ve summed up your situation, you’ve made the necessary positive changes and you are feeling quite refreshed and inspired at the new, improved quality of your reality show now that you’ve finally edited out the unnecessary parts of the tape. It certainly feels good to get rid of them, doesn’t it?
You now deserve to be the star you are!
Accepting responsibility
- Who operates your machinery?
- Who turns on your internal power point each day?
- Who maintains your upstairs wiring?
- Who makes sure you are healthy, stable and safe to operate each day?
- Who acknowledges ownership and who ultimately pays the price if you’re not working satisfactorily?
Sometimes it’s good to take a look at life from the inside out, like a car for example, however, not an automatic, but a manual! And that may come as a surprise to those people who tend to run on autopilot most days of the week. Yes, you will need to change into a different gear, depending on the degree of difficulty you are experiencing. You will need to intentionally switch on your engine. You will need to purposefully release your hand brake. You will also need to place firm pressure on the clutch to make the gear changes required and at other times you can just put your foot down and go for it!
However, some people prefer life to run automatic. They innocently jump in feet first, turn on the ignition, put it into auto-drive and motor away at full speed, reversing thoughtlessly away from their fears and creatively swerving around their realities. They tend to rely on the directions sought from others rather than taking the time to read their own map, to seek their own counsel. This may ultimately lead to their undoing. Being on autopilot works perfectly for those times when it feels safe to do so but not for most of the time. You eventually have to take back the controls. Read your own manual.
As we discussed earlier, it’s OK to accept other people suggestions or ideas at times but if you don’t have any of your own to start with how can you measure what others are saying is worthy of your consideration. What if their advice was not in your best interests? As Paul Hanna says in his audio book Believe and Achieve, “If you drive along whilst only looking in your rear vision mirror what will happen?” You guessed it! You’ll eventually crash and only then will you realize that you have spent all that time behind yourself, driving around in the past! Who’s brilliant idea was that? You can’t outmanoeuvre your past but you can manage your future.
Blaming others for your actions doesn’t seem to have a long expiration date when it comes to family, friends and work colleagues so maybe it’s time to take a glance in the sunvisor mirror before you get going again and ask yourself “Who’s driving this bus?”
You are the one who will ultimately pay the price so take pride in your ownership and keep your own log books.
I feel pretty safe to say that there is no good reason to remain stuck in your past as both cars and humans are meant to progress forward into the future. Maybe it’s time for you now, to step out of the car, leave the past behind and walk ahead into a powerful future! Life is too short to look back and wonder ‘what if’. It’s your time, right now, to act ‘as if’.
©Copyright 2007 Karen Abbott – Change Your Mind - Transition Coaching - www.changeyourmind.net.au
|
